AMOS YEE: I LIED TO THE POLICE & THERE'S NOTHING THEY CAN DO ABOUT IT

Oh yeah, since it’s obvious I wouldn’t be caught by the police, and if I actually did, I’ll be in jail long enough anyways that adding a few more crimes to my record wouldn’t make much of a difference, so I’m going to admit to another mini-crime I committed.

So on the day the police came to my house at 9am, passing me a police report and told me I was under investigation for ‘intending to wound religious feelings’ (https://www.facebook.com/286808914699053/photos/a.441740122539264.95839....), they also asked me to hand over the device I posted the ‘hurtful’ blog posts on, saying that they ‘need it for their investigation’

Now before that when my items were confiscated by the police because of the lee kuan yew video, I kind of portrayed with several facebook posts that the police were looking through my items and invading my privacy, (https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=971937696186168&id=286...) so as to create outrage towards the police and pressure them to return the items back, which fucking worked (https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=972406426139295&id=286... )

Now I wrote those public facebook posts really, not because I needed the items back urgently or that I was afraid they would invade my privacy. Dodwell (my pro bono lawyer) assured me that the prosecutor told him, the police did not do anything with the items and simply put the stuff in a plastic bag. And I know these government dog lawyers from AGC would not want to be liable for a defamation suit, especially since defamation suits is one of the prime weapons of their canine leader.

They took my items; but it was not ‘to assist in their investigation’ they did not investigate shit, it’s really a euphemism for confiscating your items (many of them not related to related to the case at all https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=886799441366661&id=286... ) before you’re deemed guilty; it is essentially stealing condoned by singapore law and unlike other thieves they don’t even use the items they take.This aspect, all of you should condemn; the police taking my items to invade my privacy though, that never happened, at least for my case (I literally turned on the confiscated desktop from sleep mode and the display was exactly the same before the computer was taken; 50 plus tabs on mozilla firefox; 21 plus microsoft word documents and the movie ‘Mr Turner’ playing).

So why did I make it seem like they were invading my privacy? Solely to more effectively fuck with the singapore police (which yes I did lie to you fellow audience, but from the effect created you very much welcome it don’t you? :) ).The added element of ‘police is invading my privacy’ engenders much more hateful feelings to the singapore police, and more effectively embarrases them and the singapore government (That’s what I do; I am a sadist; fortunately the people I fuck with deserve it and you like to see me fuck with them don’t you? :D)

And furthermore, to mock the paranoia of singaporeans who think the singapore police are actually intimidating and would ‘bug’ my computer. This is the kind of retarded paranoia formed by dumb fuck opposition supporters that induces unneeded fear to people, and prevents them from speaking up against the government under the guise of being ‘realistic’. I actually heard roy ngerng was so fearful about his confiscated computer being ‘bugged’, once he retrieved it back, he threw the confiscated one away and replaced it with a new one. Jesus, what a waste of money. For non-murderous christ’s sakes, don’t be so intimidated by the police; they’re really fucking noobs, and if they actually do bug your computer, complain about it online; imagine what it would do to their reputation; they’ll lose out more than you believe me.

Anyways, there were 2 police officers that came to my doorstep. The male one who spoke to me, had the face of a slave; that blank stare and moveless eyes of somebody who has robotically followed orders and protocol all their lives; inundated with sadness; but never aware of his state of depression because he’s gotten so used to it. His female lackey, also had a similar face, as if she needed to be awaken by plunging a large dick into her mouth.

So once they asked me to the hand the device over, I told them I couldn’t because I used my ‘friend’s laptop’ to upload the blog post, and it’s with him. Now of course, that’s a complete lie. I was using my own personal $1800 Asus gaming laptop (the money I also took from the crowdfund I hope they won’t mind XD) in my room; which is the laptop I’m using right now to also type this facebook post on Google docs; and of course I didn’t want to fucking hand that awesome computer over.

So the police handed me the investigation form and then went, but 10 minutes later, they came back and insisted they needed the device immediately to ‘conduct their investigation’(yes they sure do; they singapore police is so good that they don’t even need to touch items to investigate them; maybe they are psychic) and told me to tell them my friend’s name and hand over the address of my friend’s house so they can retrieve the laptop.

I refused, and then made up some story about how I didn’t want to because I don’t want to cause distress to him and his family by having the police arrive to their house.

And then the officer said something along the lines of, ‘Even after I told you? Even after I told you we need it for the investigation, you still aren’t willing to comply?’

And I was like, “Yeah..’

Then the officer, really starting to feel the weight of his raging nipples, asked “can you call him now and tell him to bring it over”.

So I literally went to my house kitchen where the police couldn’t see me, waited for 4 minutes to make it seem like I was ‘calling my friend’, and then went back and told them, “Yeah my friend isn’t willing to do it, especially since I wasn’t even charged yet or found guilty yet” (But of course I was fully aware of the ‘guilty till found innocent’ ‘logic’ of singapore law).

The male officer and his female lackey were really starting to fidget and sweat, like dogs in a puddle, and so to further smack their hyney, I leaned on the door beside me and smugly asked, ‘So I refuse to reveal the identity of my friend and his address, does that mean I’m going to be charged for not complying with a police officer?’

And so he replied, “Maybe. Now we’re undergoing investigation so whether you get charged for this wounding religious feelings we’re unsure, everything is ‘maybe”.

Well horrendous english aside (These guys probably went to more years of school than me), they might have claimed that they didn’t know I would be charged, but I certainly knew I would (you have to prolong repressed rage I mean… maintain ‘peace and harmony among religions’), which is why I even didn’t waste my time to go for the investigation naively thinking I there was chance I would be let-off scot-free, but instead went on the run, (it was utterly stunning how quick-thinking to plan and execute the run in less than 12 hours), and the dumb police has been chasing me every since.

The initial non-compliance with the police officer though, they wouldn’t take any action if I eventually did give the laptop once I was charged, that unwillingness to fully disclose information is way too minor for them to charge me for (especially since they know I’m popular and would fuck them up if they did). And if I actually went for the investigation and wanted to prevent them from knowing that I lied, I would just send them a blank laptop that they would totally use for their ‘investigation’, and ask one of my many opposition-supporter friends to act as that person who lent me the computer (I’m sure I’ll be able to find one). But of course I don’t have to go through that hassle, because the fuckers can’t find me, and so can’t do shit; HAHAHAHAHA!!

Now the male police officer, vagina overflowing with sand (It brings me much pleasure to see those police scum squirm) , perhaps he had a hint I was lying, or more probably (because they really aren’t smart people who would be able to identify a liar), was desperately attempting to be intimidating when he really failing to be in front a 17-year-old boy, told me “if we find out that you didn’t actually use your friend’s laptop, you can be said to have committed another crime and be charged in court”, so there you go, this blog post is full-proof evidence I’ve committed another crime; catch me if you can MOTHERFUCKERS!! :D

The male officer then told the bitch to write down a statement, which she did with a frightening hastiness like that of an unflowered virgin girl yearning for cock. And on the piece of paper I think she wrote‘my friend’s laptop’ and told me to sign it to verify that was the device used.

Now, I think they wanted me to sign that statement to act as proof that I said I used my friend’s computer, so that if they eventually found out I did lie, they could immediately have solid proof and charge me in court. But writing that statement and asking me to sign it is completely useless, because of course we know in the context of the incredibly just singapore law, the verbal statement would be enough; the court would definitely believe dogs of the same breed, and the male police officer could validate his claim about how he had his totally-would-not-lie bitch witness. The only reason I can think of why police would still do that is because it was part of their ‘protocol’, the best servant is one who follow orders that do not make sense and doesn’t question.

So I once again refused (because for people who gets a job with authority that they don’t deserve and is used to getting subservient singaporeans to comply with them (that’s probably the main reason why they chose this profession), it really pisses them off, which continues to bring me utter joy) saying that I am not obligated too.

For anyone who’s under investigation with the police or is even charged for a crime, don’t make the same mistake I did and waste your fucking time; you neither have to comply with the police for hours and write that long-winded statement (an activity so boring only students could handle), or sign it. Really, my buddy from changi prison who committed assault with a wine bottle refused to sign his statement, and the police didn’t do jack shit. The only pseudo-plausible reason to hang out with those lifeless drones and write those statements is to act as an activity in prison to kill time. But really, reading books, meditating or talking to yourself in the cell is a much more productive way to spend your time believe me (changi prison was quite relaxing). They will not charge you for not signing or writing your statement, and if they do, tell me and I’ll flame them on the internet for you; they’ll lose out much more than you believe me.

And the police, in another vain attempt to lessen their humiliation, told me that if I did not bring the laptop to the investigation a few days later, said they might have to take ‘further action’, and I’m guessing what that means is breaking into my house and once again taking several important items to me that aren’t related to the case at all, making it temporarily inconvenient for me to continue my internet activities. But alas chumps, before that, I took those items, and ran away, so the only ‘action’ they will ever get is in a brothel.

So now that I’ve blatantly admitted this crime online, I will definitely be charged and sentenced for deliberately lying to a police officer IF the actually manage to capture me, which they can’t; AH-HAH! :D

I think I could have not lied and just said I was using my own laptop but refused to give it to them and they wouldn’t have broken into my house and taken my laptop before I managed to execute the run, but it did provide an easier excuse to keep my awesome laptop I play steam games on, and I also gained the accomplishment of lying to the police.

In this respect, lee kuan yew was right, lying and manipulation does work at certain times. People who think they should be honest without exceptions are fucking dumbasses that will be destroyed in this world. Fortunately unlike lee kuan yew, I actually use manipulation for good, instead of making 5 million people slaves.

I, Amos Yee, fucking rule. Why are people so intimidated by the police? I guess because they’re not willing to resort to manipulation or making their cunt parents ‘worried’; once you liberate yourself from that, with a little hint of intelligence you can easily shit all over the singapore government, and that 50-year long dictatorship doesn’t seem that menacing anymore. Touche motherfucker; I am on fire; HAHAHAHAHAHA!! :D

Amos Yee