CONFESSIONS OF A S'PORE QUITTER

Editor's Note: A reader has sent us his thoughts on being a Singaporean living in Australia.

You all want to know how a quitter feel? I give you the real deal. I am quitter living in Australia now.

1) I miss SG. All my friends in sg. All sec sch/JC till now still close. More than that, I miss speaking singlish. I talk to ang moh until mouth pain. Talk good english is sibei sian one, I tell you. I also miss chicken rice, bak chor mee, mee rebus, fried fish soup, zi char, carrot cake, curry puff, ice kopi/teh, etc. I miss walking around suntec, bedok, etc. Go everywhere also see the same kind.

2) I cannot go back because I cannot make it (CMI). I cannot work any longer than 9-5. My salary here is quite overpaid. I think I'll only get less than half if I go back. I cannot tahan reservist, because I so long haven't go back, cannot take regimentation. My camo still the blotchy type, only know how to use AR15, never touch SAR21 b4. New webbing I don't even know how to put on. Basically I quite spoilt here materially. I cannot take crowd, very stress. The last time I went back, walk orchard road hyperventilate and almost nervous breakdown after 1 hr.

3) I cannot go back because my family also CMI. Don't want my children to studee so hard. My brother told me his friend send the child to 8 enrichment classes a week when he is 5 years old. Aussie maybe 16/17 send to 1. My wife also cannot work hard or take stress type

4) I will never be real aussie. This will never be my true home. Not because I don't want to, but because of how I was brought up. they are welcoming, but they are very different. even the way they think, the way they talk, also don't interest me, but i must act a bit. The American born Chinese call us FOB, Fresh Off the Boat, or low class people, they were also brought up very differently. Just cannot click la. I keep trying to integrate, but just a very strange feeling la.

5) I feel very stuck. I cannot live in sg, but aussie also not my true home. So how? I scare my daughter become SPG, because I will disown her. I hope my children will be stronger so they can go back to sg in my place. I still feel very strongly for east asian people, but at the same time, the way tiongs do things also very farked up, while ang moh seem to have better ways of doing things. Feels very mao dun. Jin sian.