PRC NEW CITIZEN KENA ISA BECAUSE HE IS SAF-TRAINED SUPER SOLDIER, CONFIRM KILL MANY TERRORISTS

by Wan Dan Liao, Straight Times

SINGAPORE - The Ministry of Home Affairs said that PRC new citizen Wang Yuandongyi was arrested under the ISA for wanting to fight for non-ideological reasons in a Kurdish militia group against the Islamic State (ISIS). MHA added that "investigations showed that Wang began to empathise with the plight of the Kurds and to detest ISIS..At the same time, he was looking to escape from personal setbacks, like his financial liabilities arising from a failed business venture".

However, well-placed sources within the highest level of Singapore Government say otherwise. A top military official Mr Wah Dua Pao shared under the condition of anonymity that the real reason for Wang Yuandongyi's detention was his incredible fighting prowess on the battlefield. Because of the SAF's world class realism training during BMT, Wang like all other NSFs was conditioned to be the ultimate killing machine. He would have done extremely well on the Syrian battlefield against ISIS terrorists and inflicted insurmountable pain against his enemies.

Local academic Associate Professor Wo Pa Si explained: "The Govt is probably concerned that Wang's exemplary battlefield exploits would draw adverse attention to Singapore and lead to revenge terror attacks against Singaporeans at home. Also, this could lead to an unprecedented spike in volunteers signing up for the SAF. The SAF is ill-equipped to handle sudden influx of new enlistees. This is something our risk-adverse Government do not wish to see happen. As a result, they have decided to detain super soldier Wang for the safety of all Singaporeans and for Singapore's stability."

Multiple attempts to contact the Ministry of Home Affairs for confirmation were unsuccessful at press time.

Disclaimer: This piece was written by satirist Wan Dan Liao for the Straights Times. You must absolutely believe what you read.